Been a while since we considered a Chuck Norris fact. Here’s this week’s:
There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’ computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Think about it. Whilst you’re doing that, here’s a video of the man himself:
Fans of the Thick of It will know that swearing and politics go hand in hand, just like absinthe and madness.
However, even the least politically-aware of us knows that our politicians hide their sweary sides well away from the judgemental glare of the public eye. Two Jabs excepted, Western MPs prefer to portray a glittering veneer of moral pulchritude. And it’s sensible to think that, the more senior the political figure, the more protective he or she is of that image. Well, think again.
President Barry Obama is swearing like a trooper in these outrageous MP3s. Uncovered by endearing, oddball music curator, April Winchell from Barry’s Dreams from My Father audio book, they show the President ain’t shy of sounding more like Pulp Fiction’s Jules Winfield than President of the US of A. Tune in – it’s the s***.
If you’ve ever had one of those awkward elevator moments that makes you want to run for the stairs, help is at hand. Several elevator etiquette campaigners have combined their knowledge and skills to create a useful, although somewhat odd, guide to elevator use.
ElevatorRules.com provides practical advice on all stages of the elevator journey – calling/waiting, boarding, what to do when inside the elevator and exiting – so you can rest assured that you won’t find yourself in any of those uncomfortable ‘stare at the ceiling and whistle’ moments. Here are some pearls of wisdom:
Pushing the button
“If you arrive as a door is closing, regardless of how many people are in the car, DO NOT press the button. The people in the car are already prepared mentally for their trip and do not need to be interrupted.”
Talking and singing
“If your personality dictates that you must start a conversation with complete strangers, start with light discussion about weather or current events. Avoid topics that may get cut off when one of you reaches their destination floor.”
“Never, under any circumstances urinate or defecate in en elevator. It is not, and never will be considered funny by anyone.”
Right, well I shall take the stairs then!
’nuff said. Have a good weekend.
Update: Sorry, looks like these weren’t uploaded with rightsholder permissions and are now gone. Why would people steal from Bill Bailey? Anyway, read about the most recent programme here.
Sorry for delayed news, Friday was hectic.
Saw Bill Bailey last night. A genius in every way, and a good gig, if he didn’t give us much new material as he played his home stage at the Riverside Studios – although he did wheel out a Tenori On for some entertaining novelty… watch out for him defeating evil and creating beauty if he gets it out in the future. Seeing him did remind me of his work with news themes…
To contrast with NBC news – where we go for techno-remixes, the Americans go for ‘ET being chased on a horse by Darth Vader’…
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